Thursday, September 13, 2018

Behavior Quotes to Live By




Working in the land of emotional behavior disorders is magical, frustrating, overwhelming, important, exhausting, tedious, and so worth it. This blog post is dedicated to 5 quotes that are hugely important in the field and will hopefully help you stay in the right mindset about our kids and what they need from us to be successful.

If you've been following me on any outlet of social media for any length of time, you not only know that I love the philosophies of Dr. Greene, but that this is my ultimate framework for working alongside our students exhibiting challenging behaviors. Kids do well IF THEY CAN, not kids do well if they want to. We must find out what our students lagging skills are, and teach our students the missing pieces to their puzzle.

And you also probably know how much I respect Dr. Perry! I love this quote because it reminds us that no matter what points kids earn, what level system you employ, or how many behavioral tickets you pass out - it's the relationships you form with students that change them and help build the foundation for behavior change.

I find this quote so crucial because it reminds us of the importance of our students seeing us as real people (and knowing our likes, pet peeves, hobbies, family life, what we think is funny, our pets, etc!), and us knowing our students for who they are, that helps us form important bonds that create the need for positive behavior, not the need for compliance! Grab the amazing book where this quote is from here.

Would it be a set of quotes from me without at least TWO from Dr. Greene? Let's be honest ;) This quote speaks to me so much because behavior science is all about the function and the missing skills. Why are they jumping off the desk? It's not because they want to annoy us, though it may feel that way! Have you read Dr. Greene's book Lost at School yet? Check it out here.

The last quote I want to share is from my favorite blogger and podcaster, Angela Watson. In our worlds and our everyday lives in the classroom, hard moments are going to happen. Kids are going to have very challenging moments. They will say unloving and disrespectful things to us. We will occasionally respond in really ugly ways to our students - because we are human. We will watch other adults reinforce our students behaviors and/or treat them in ways that are utterly disgusting. We will have really hard times. BUT - we need to exhibit that 'rational detachment' that is often so hard to do, so we can move on. We CAN let moments go. We can! Instead of focusing on the hard incidents, we can proactively work towards them not happening again to that same magnitude, then change our focus to the positive things that occurred during the day, and we can start fresh tomorrow. Our students and ourselves deserve a fresh, new day each morning.

Love,
Allie


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Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Building Self-Esteem in Students




In all of our special education classrooms we have some students that greatly struggle with exhibiting challenging behaviors. Over the years I realized that one of the symptoms, and sometimes even the cause of, challenging behavior can be low self-esteem. Always getting consequences for exhibiting behaviors they have a hard time controlling definitely takes its toll on a kiddo!
Self-esteem building can come in many forms, and I have found 3 easy to implement ways to help boost your kiddos self-esteem every day.

1.) Daily Affirmations

Every morning, I invited my students to use our affirmation cards to find one that they needed for the day as a healthy reminder. At first, they needed a lot of prompting to find one that they really needed. Between our morning check-ins and reflecting back on yesterday’s challenging moments, a paraprofessional or I were usually able to problem solve with the student to find an affirmation that fit, and eventually the students can choose one independently. We color a picture of our affirmations for a 5 minutes, and then during our morning meeting, we announce our daily affirmation during check-in.

2.) Modeling

Modeling positive self-talk is a huge way to help students understand what it is, that it’s not just something silly, and when to use it. Frequently, when I would make a mistake (either on purpose to model this or an honest mistake), I would model positive self talk. For example, if I forgot to submit attendance and the secretary had to remind me, I would admit that I forgot and say out loud, “I’m going to forgive myself for forgetting to do that. I’m going to set an alarm so I don’t forget again tomorrow. I know I’m still a smart person and that everyone makes mistakes.” I also would model this behavior during instances that I watched students frequently get down on themselves over. Another example of this is when we would play basketball during recess, I would inevitably miss a shot (or 12 – haha!), and model saying, “That’s okay, I’m still a good athlete. I just need to keep practicing. I’m also really fast, so once I get better at dribbling, I’m going to be hard to catch!”

3. ) Real time responses

When students have exhibited a challenging behavior or are having a difficult moment, I ensure that after every restorative/debrief conversation, I infuse some elements of positive self talk. I always ask students what emotion they’re feeling, and how they feel about themselves. We find a positive affirmation that can help them feel a little better about themselves, and if they aren’t willing to say the affirmation in that moment, I say it to them. I also remind them of their morning affirmation and how they is still true about them, no matter the situation.


Self-esteem building is not an easy task with students, as we all know the adolescent years are impossibly hard even without the layers of having learning and emotional challenges. Intentionally adding self-esteem activities into daily routines really helped my students internalize these mantras. How do you help your students build confidence and self-love?

Love,
Allie